I knew it
Wherein I sense some connectivity.

February 8, 1999... 11:26 am


OK, so we decided to call it off - R-chan and me. We never saw each other, we never got the chance to interact (when we do see each other, it's on a "pretend" basis) - we'll wait till next summer and see how things go.

But... until then... I am (technically) free. I was kind of "free" already, the way things were going. Funny thing is... there was always this guy in the background I had a crush on... and we've been spending a LOT of time together recently. One big fat problem with that one is... AGE DIFFERENCE *ominous music*

Yes, the object of my affection is a mere... 15. Hoo boy, you say. Hey, he's almost 16. His birthday is March 15... Yes... I'm 19, almost 20, and I've got it for a guy 4 years younger than me. Whoooo.

You must understand, though, this guy is pretty darn mature for his age. (Most of the time. ^_^) He's very intelligent, very funny, and kawaii too. :D We get along very well - he told me I'm one of the few people he can really connect with.

Which brings me to another thing. Last Friday night I was over at his house practicing for Solo Ensemble (he plays saxaphone; I was accompanying him on piano - we got a Superior rating, by the way :P) - when we were done, I gave him a ride into town for his Pep Band game (Basketball) - he invited me to stay, so I spent the whole game sitting with him and talking about... well, just about everything. Conversations, futures, talents, people, modesty, body types (THAT was funny ^^), etcetcetc.... after the game was over I offered him a lift home, we stopped to get gas (that was interesting too - I usually use a gas card, so I had no idea how to buy gas with plain ol' money - neither did he... it was "the Monkees get gas" *grin to Civillian Girl*), and drove ALL the way back out to his house (he lives in the sticks ^^). After a Star Wars hit, he asked if I wanted to go down and look at the beach (he lives right on the beach, lucky freak) - at this time it was about 9:00 pm, pitch black outside. So we went down to the beach in the rain with a flashlight and proceeded to walk up and down the beach for... a LONG LONG time - again, talking about everything - including what we looked for in people and relationships, our lives, our futures, etc. There was almost an underlying flirtiness to the conversation, but not really... it was very very subtle. We connected very well though, and just kept walking and talking and talking and walking, in the rain, on the beach in the darkness, running from the occasional "big wave" and tripping over rocks and things. He's very easy to talk to. It was very fun... very "poignant." And somewhat promising. We're better friends, that's for sure. And... we're going swing dancing tonight... heh heh...

It's all very weird. I'm not sure what to think, or what he thinks, or if I even like him in "that way" - I just know that there's some sort of chemistry between us, something that was slightly noticeable even the first time I "noticed" him, when we were staff last summer at camp, standing around the campfire with R-chan and my brother at night, talking about everything and nothing.


11:46 am