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Three wee little words
So hard to voice.

3-22-99, 12:51 pm

So a lot has been going on recently. A LOT. I won't bore you with other mundane details of my life... I'll jump right into the juicy stuff. That is what you're here for, right? If I've given you this URL? :D

So OK. Where to begin? I guess I'll go chronologically.

Sunday March 14, after church, Thom and I drove to the Dairy Queen parking lot to study the Bible a bit and talk. It was nice - nice to expose and discuss more of the spiritual sides of ourselves. I gave him his birthday presents (his birthday was the 15th) and he had fun unwrapping the various girly ribbons and things Laurel had wrapped everything in. Some of the gag gifts might not have gone over so well (^_^), but the "Air Max" T-shirt was a big hit. :) He looked at it for a second, and his eyes widened, and he couldn't believe it, that I'd actually had it made. He said it looked a lot like the one in his dream. "This is so cool," he said. "I can't stop grinning." Then we tried to drive away... and the car wouldn't start. Bummer. So we went into Dairy Queen to get a jump from one of the employees, and we were off in no time... yay. :D

So we started talking about limits, as we held hands and I drove one-handed. (Good thing I'm good at driving in that fashion. :>) We basically agreed on no improper touching, no removal of clothing, etc. And he said holding my hand felt so natural and right and "electric," and that he thought he could maybe be in love with me. We both agreed that we were pretty much a "thing", a "boyfriend/girlfriend" thing, but we wouldn't make that public for fear of endless incessant teasing from many mutual friends. :D

Fast forward to Friday the 19th, Spring Fling night. He arrived at my house around 6:00 and we watched "the Simpson's" and practiced some swing lifts. We made it into the dance without giving our tickets up (we'd got there early for pictures, and no one was around, and they never asked us for our tickets! Bwahaha.) Dathan and his girlfriend showed us some new cool swing lifts, most of which involved flinging or spinning of some sort, one of which we toppled over on and bruised my elbow, and on another of which I cracked my knee against my browbone... but they were very fun. (Eee hee hee) Only two swing songs were played during the actual dance, and we didn't get into the center circle where the dance contest was taking place, but we cut a rug nonetheless. (A very frenetic dance routine! We both had sideaches by the time it was over - but it ruled! I got soooooo high on some of those lifts..) Other than that we played cards and tried to talk over the deafening boom of rap.

Afterwards we drove out vto a spot near his house to sit on the grass and cuddle and look at the stars and talk - about various things, everything and nothing. And we kissed and nuzzled and thouroughly enjoyed making time fly together. And we went back to his house at exactly midnight, and went inside to get the list/blathering he wrote :), and decided to hang around in the living room and talk. So we sat down together in one of those big round chair-type things, and wrapped ourselves around each other, and proceeded to spend the next 3 HOURS talking. (Well... a bit of that time towards the end was taken up with very nice kissing...laying there with our lips pressed together... ahhhhh....) we talked about... again, everything and nothing. We spilled our guts, we connected our souls, we joined our hearts together and whispered and sat silent. Our minds were on the same wavelength.

"This is one of those times," I said, "where I could say.. I love you."

"No kidding," he whispered back.

After a bit more discussion we fell anticipatingly silent.

"I love you," he said.

And I responded likewise.

It was very sweet. We talked about our relationship and how right and pure and patient it seems. I loved just laying next to him, his arm around me playing with my hair, our hands grasping, my face against his neck and cheek, our sides pressed together. He said that he'd love to go to sleep with me (funny that Laurel and I were discussing that very same thing almost exactly a week ago ^^), snuggled up next to each other. "Someday," we both said. And closed our eyes and blushed. Silence fell. Time passed.

"Maybe you should go... no... don't go."

"I won't."

And our whispering continued. He said he likes to make me happy, and to care for me, and make me feel safe. It was very, very nice. We both could have stopped time and gone on like that for eternity. 9 hours together was just too short. ^^

I woke up the next morning at 7:00 am, full of energy, but went back to sleep and got up at 11:30. Bah. :D

And then just yesterday, Sunday the 21st, Thom's dad took me and him onto their boat to have soup and talk about relationships... which was interesting. He said that by the looks of us, it was going to be painful to put on the brakes and wait for marriage or whatever... interesting... Thom was quite embarressed. Then we went out to his house and read James' book (first outside, then laying side-by-side on the floor of his family room, underlining and discussing). Then we had vanilla ice cream with carmel topping............ yummmmmmmm... he only had about a shot-glass full, because of his cholestoral, poor guy! Then we went in on the computer and I had him listen to the .wav of me singing "She's an Angel" on helium, which he thought was pretty funny. Then he ran and got his new blathering from Friday night and as I read it, he read some of my older, more embarressing ones from when I first started to REALLY like him, more than just a crush. And we both turned our backs and sat and read and became very embarressed at the thought of the other person reading our secret babblings. What his basically said was "I finally admitted to myself and to her that I love her. I love her." He wrote that it came from deep within his soul, where truth and purity were, and that it was a heart-to-heart connection between us... he said he'd love to spend eternity in my arms. He wondered if I felt the same way, or if I was just "humoring him"!! And imagine that I wondered about his feelings. It was a very beautiful piece of writing... I'd like to get a copy of it, and maybe even put it up here. It's lovely, and sweet, and honest, and passionate... ahhhh. :D

And we kissed and he asked if I felt the same way and I nodded, and whispered "I love you."

"I love you too," he responded.

And we sat with our heads together. "Wow," he murmered.

"Wow is right," I said.

We're a perfect fit. Thank you, Lord, for bringing us together.

Other things... he got his lisence, with a pretty funny picture. :D Oh well... I've never seen a GOOD lisence pic. Also his mom was asking me about my Monkee CDs after hearing Thom play the tape I made for him. "I never knew they did such sophisticated music!" she said. And of course I'm glad to promote the Monkees in any way I possibly can. :D I'll have to make Thommy another tape - he really liked it, especially the Monkees and the They Might Be Giants songs.

Ahh. So as you can see life is going quite well for me. Happily happily. I hasve to find out if I can get the Webster though... and I have to practice my piano part for Thom's State Solo competition piece... and I have to finish math... and I have to make a crapload of Paul Wylie tapes. Agh.

But other than that I'm floating on the stars.

1:41 pm

Best friend with benefits.












I am a squishette.


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