December 3, 1998, 4:18 pm
Funny. I'm obsessed. I pine. I dream. I want him to want me. I want him to want to be with me again. I want him to once more strive for my company, run to me when he sees me, talk to me. But that's not so. He ignores. He looks past me, making me feel stupid for even coming to see him. He asks other people for rides home, even though we live seven blocks away from each other. He asks and calls his new friends to places, and ignores me as I stand right next to them. I did nothing. Just suddenly he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.
Today I worked on websites. Alot. Which is pretty much all I've been doing lately. Not much else goes on in my life. I'm in college, but I dropped all but 2 of my classes - Multimedia and Media Management, a journalism class - neither of which are strenuous classes that involve a lot of homework. Next quarter should kill me though... Botany, American literature, Music theory, Chemistry, and Aikido. OK, so Aikido's not hard, but I needed to learn self-defense, 'cuz I'm a weenie. Anyway. The quarter after that I'll have to take Biology, Math, English, Economics, and either Art or Creative writing. And I must do this all in 2 quarters so I can graduate. Why the big rush? I slacked off majorly last year. And this quarter. And now I'm paying for it.
I must go... add chemistry, and go pee. Then I'm going to go home and listen to music and decide whether or not I wanna go to the wrestling match tonight. He's in it. Which is probably the only reason I'd go. Thom will also be there, but... but...
I'm pathetic. Slap me.
Also I want to see if Laurel wants to hang out for awhile... she really distanced herself after our big 1 am discussion two nights ago. It was important... I wonder what she's thinking.
I'm really hungry. I've gotta go home.